Care Tuk
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Yes or no?

1/6/2021

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                     After the final NO,  there comes a YES.  
                   It is on that YES the future of this world depends.
                                                      So:
  • When you hear the final “NO”, will you be open and STILL enough to hear the “YES”?
  • Will you believe in yourself enough to KNOW that YOU are part of what today’s world depends upon?
  • Are you willing to block out all the naysayers, and boldly step out and do your part, willing to put yourself out there, confidently KNOWING your ‘assignment’ even if others are NOT confident in your calling/assignment?
  •  KNOW your YES, and DO it...No matter what the cost. 
  •  Because you have already counted the cost,  KNOW that because your YES ­is THE "YES", it will be provided for  – pressed down, over-flowing, above and beyond what your wildest imaginations  could ever think was possible?
  •  I believe, because of the incredible person I KNOW you to be, that your answers will be your YES. Why? Because the direction and the future of where this world is going depends on your YES, even if others say the final is NO. Why?
  • Because YOU are UNSTOPPABLE.


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Seven Letters

12/5/2020

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​For those who know me or have followed my blog, you may recall that for the last 50 years (yes, FIFTY!) that I have asked God, towards the end of the year, to give me a word/short phrase to focus on for the coming year.
 
Over the decades some words were clear. Other years the word seemed innocuous – only to discover by year’s end that God really WAS in control and the word(s) He had given me were the exact ones I needed to hang onto just to make it through.
 
Recent words have been were LEAN IN, Trust, Fear Not and Gratitude.  One year, God asked me to stay DAILY in Jeremiah 31 – boy was that an adventurous year! 2020’s year’s word was WARRIOR. If I know NOW what the word warrior would literally and figuratively come to mean I just may have (being honest here) I would have told the Lord: “No thanks!”  But I know that doesn’t work with God – it usually just gets me deeper in the muck when I say “no.” Just sayin’.
 
Recently, I had my morning mug of  VIA Italian Roast coffee with Vanilla Caramel and Peppermint Mocha creamer in one hand (lovingly made by my hubby who despises coffee – even the smell, ) my journal in my lap, and my Bible open on the recliner arm.  I was  snuggled in my blanket that has the pattern of shelves of books on it. A perfect calm had settled over me as I sat in my new “Refuge” – my remodeled office.  Only in the span of Eternity could the paint color I chose for the walls have the name “Refuge” – Godincidence right?
 
I continued to warm myself, basking in His Word. I occasionally looked outside at the snowy landscape. The sun was rising slowly. Remember it, is December in Alaska!)  The snow and ice encrusted tree branches shimmered like diamonds as the morning sunbeams ascended.
 
It was a fitting morning to “hear “what word(s) God had in store for me for 2021. But instead of words, he gave me seven letters.  I prayed and pondered what the seven letters meant throughout. It (finally) dawned on me the seven letters, rearranged, formed two different words…my words for 2021:  LISTEN and SILENT.   
 
So now you know how to be praying in 2021 for me! Silent is not typically a word that is used to describe me! Listen, I believe is a strong admonishment. So stay tuned. I will fill you in as the year progresses!  Blessings and s’mores!
 

​

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SERIOUSLY?!

8/9/2020

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 One of the joys of living where we do at the base of the Talkeetna Mountain range is the ability to live a "farm to table" lifestyle.  We never cease to be amazed at how quickly things grow with longer summer hours (quickly slipping by). And, dip-netting on the Kenai or Kasilof salmon (each household can dip for free, 25+ salmon, depending on size of family - we can get 37) plus moose and caribou, we feel blessed.

Each year, weather patterns dictate  which crops may do better than others. This year, we have a bumper crop of chickweed (grrr!), as convection thunderstorms have poured rain in the evenings - the upside is Bill has hardly had to water! Last summer with record heat, he spent HOURS watering! 

We have softball size kohlrabi, wonderful dicon radishes, zuchinni and cabbage. And RHUBARB...lots of thubarb - which means new culinary creations from Bill! He has designed rhubarb artichoke heart dressing, cinnamon rhubarb, and gallons of wonderful rhubarb juice that we can store for use all year round. 

The raspberries - both red and golden have done incredibly well. We are picking the reds, and the golden raspberry that had doubled were "almost" ready....until the "visitors" arrived.

SERIOUSLY? 

Yep - all's we could do was watch the Sand Hill Cranes as they shook each bush and ate every berry that was ready. We tried chasing, we tried yelling at them. we even tried covering - all to no avail, because as soon as you turned your back, they found a way into them.

Guess you can say we are doing our part to feed the local wildlife that makes Alaska so special.  Let's just hope the moose won't have an extra pea pod flavor to them this year!! 
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Forever . . .

6/27/2020

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​How can it be that eight years have passed by so quickly? It seems like yesterday that I was locking horns with Jamie about “Dad needs a dog.” After Kula’s passing away nine years ago, I was not eager to deal with “puppy stage.
 
As always, in matters with her dad, his little girl won. On Father’s Day eight years ago, Bubba Grump entered our lives. He was a Brindled Mastiff Ridgeback who, from the moment we laid eyes on him knew he would be Bill’s new sidekick. He went everywhere with Bill – even to work on many days.
 
Bubba went home to be with Jamie and Baby girl this last Monday. The vet had said he outlived his life expectancy, and we chose to do “comfort care” the last week he was with us. We took multiple trips to the river (the only water he would drink)—sure glad we had 20 hours of light, as he wanted to walk down almost hourly. He went for one last truck drive with Bill, head hanging out of the window, ears flapping away, his lonnng tongue hanging out, and of course, his slobber running down the truck doors. His last treat was on Monday morning when he and Bill made several loops around our 30 acres to Bubba’s favorite spots. When Bill helped him out of our Ranger, he stood and took his last breath. His way, His time. He was never in pain and was finally released to sweet Peace.
 
We were glad it wasn’t on Father’s Day or on the one year anniversary (Wednesday) of Jamie and Baby Girl going home. We are sure of one thing: ALL dogs go to Heaven.
 
How do I know that? Think about it: Jesus, the Good Shepherd, leads His flock (us.) In Psalm 23 it tells of Jesus leading the flock – which means from the front. Any good shepherd who leads from the front will make sure that he has two good sheep dogs who corral from the back of the flock, keeping the sheep safe, together and so not to lose any of the sheep. That means Jesus had two dogs – and we even know their names! One was Goodness and the other was Mercy – following us keeping us in the flock, all the day of our life.
 
So, as we walk to the river or take a walk around the back 30, we know Bubba’s looking down, making sure Goodness and Mercy are keeping us in the flock – safe and sound – just like he, Jamie and Baby Girl are in Heaven.

 
 

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Aloneness ?

4/13/2020

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Reprinted at request of several friends (original was an email) 

​As I was reflecting thinking how unusual it will be for so many to not celebrate and partake of the remembrance of the very core of our faiths - both for Passover and Easter,, I got thinking about the very first Easter...

The disciples were ‘social distancing’ themselves per se. They away from the crowds/their families, trying to take in The Last Supper, the foot- washing, wrapping their heads around one of their own falling from grace and betraying Jesus.

They were reeling from the horror of the walk to Golgotha, watching  the vile actions of those who literally knew Him not. The earth trembled. Then silence.

Up against all the unknowns,  trying to comprehend the repercussions, they stayed ‘home’...versus being out and about. Agonizing thoughts, ashamed of their inaction, they sat in what they thought was ‘aloneness.’

But how far from reality...God had His Master Plan already drawn up.

It would be up to each of us, consciously and individually - on how/when/what form  we would take to walk out HIS plan. He KNEW His faithful would choose correctly (even if we are FAR from perfect!)

And so, this Holy weekend and beyond, we answer His individual call on our personal life.

Far from perfect, yet NEVER alone the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are with and in us - and are an overwhelming majority.

What we do, what we say and who we are will touch others in ways we may never, ever know, this side of Heaven.

Our prayers are heard - for ourselves, our family and our friends. And, while others we so deeply care about may not “do” or “act” or “live out” in the way WE wish they would, God’s loving grace, mercy and peace are over them. Our prayers bring them to the Throne as we continue to stand in the gap for them, just as He has done with and for US, knowing their battle is not ours to fight for them, but it IS our call to cover them in prayer, to “BE” who He has asked each of us to be.

He asks us to take Him at His Word and BELIEVE GOD - not just to BELIEVE “IN” Him.

His plans never fail, His timing is ever perfect because God is in ALL the details, ALL the time.

Blessings and s’mores this Holy Week
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Forever Friends

2/4/2020

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 I paused for a moment in my quiet time this morning.  My eyes fell upon a sign that a dear friend gave to me. In my pause, I pondered about the saying that was on the plaque. I dad had one of those "I should of had a V-8" or as my kids would say a "DUH -mom"  moment."

The sign says:  "We'll always be best friends because you know too much."

My V-8/mom- moment? When it occurred to me that GOD knows me better that ANYONE, and that while He knows everything, I don't have to, for He will keep me in the "need to know" loop as needed,

I think that's a wise place to be - don't you? 

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Reflections

12/22/2019

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Forty years ago a friend from church showed us the clay manger scene above as she removed it from the kiln.  The magnificent work was  to be  displayed at a local art gallery.   

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I saw how Mary held Jesus as Joseph, the angels, wise men and yes, even a camel,  gazed upon the holy moment. ​ It  reflected and epitomized the very essence of motherhood as Mary tenderly held and cuddled her wee one, holding him close to her heart. As a new mom, getting ready to celebrate our Jamie's first Christmas, I was overwhelmed with the holy scene.

I couldn't stop looking at the display. Oh how I wished we had the financial resources to purchase it, yet I knew there would be no possible way. After all, it was a gallery piece, and we were still young marrieds with an infant. Need I say more? 

Imagine my utter surprise Christmas morning when I walked out to the living room.  There, underneath our "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree was the manger scene I that had so moved me. The artist added a  camel for Jamie to commemorate her first Christmas.

To this day I still can't believe how Bill had kept the gift a secret (or that I hadn't figured he had something up his sleeve!) He had seen how deeply touched I had been when our friend showed it to us, fresh out of the kiln.  He  stealth-fully spent several evenings and weekends prior to Christmas cutting and stacking cords of firewood, bartering with our artist  friend,  so he could purchase it..  

Forty years later, I am still moved. We keep the manger scene out all year as a reminder that Christmas is every day and  to stop and reflect upon the true meaning of Christmas:

Reflections of love. 

A mother's love. 

A husband's love. 

A friend's love. 

But most of all, the love of God, the Father, sending His only begotten son down to Earth so that we may have life...Eternally. 

As we spend time reflecting this holiday season -   we pray each of you may feel and see the blessing and true Reason for the Season - the glorious gift that arrived as a baby, who brings us  Peace, Joy and Life. 


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Just wanted you to know....

12/17/2019

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Yoda- Speak

12/11/2019

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Disclaimer: sorry if broken memory and this be repeat!!

​Just note date up keep you.  I be know some people don't know everything or I miss tell you. So: Brain surgery Nov 8th reveal Grade 2 malignant, golf ball size tumor. Think they all be get. 

Thanks all be to you for support, understanding  during last month and months headsa be. Tweener shoulder rehab, brain surgery challenge and yes, "firsts w/o Jamie" long head road be there. How eat hefalump? Bite one small at a time!!

 As be you can tell, Yoda type is normal mine of now - both speak and write. Furberstrating, but me like Yoda "k-o-be it is!"  HOW/Why? Cuz TRUE Force be with us be!! Worser part is like on coaster roll day each.: UP- DOWN, UP, DOWN.....SCREAM!!!

Visual cuts still have - come/go - depend much how stim I have been .Dr. say good chance get more vision and speech loss in next year :0( . Hard no music this season, but small price. Balance off, too. Decide on 16th re: cyber/gamma radiation up follow, since was Grade 2 atypical&malignant and size it be was. 

Still be no visitors - immune system mine is zilch. I already had stomach flu week 2 ago: DON'T get want again!!  These first holiday seasons without Jamie and baby girl not easy...
Tim stepped in gap for us until I be could do more  even when he got stuck for 2 extra days Kodiak Island (weather). We be tell him "welcome winter weather travel in AK!"

Bill now 100% retire YAY!  So far taking care me of and since our snow come/go twice, he be advantage cut wood on our 30 acres he be do...he also be working on wood for 2 widows in area :0)  we be have ours and part next year. He be their keeper of warm and gooder food treats with his culinary creations.

Thanks (and please!) still no calls; if mail/e, SHORT please - hard be it  talk/read. Plus never know time when what be I will like.  When be I can, I will slip out a call. This i be take 2 days type to !

People be ask what can do us for?  Remember what the Season of Holydays are you for..... Enjoy the season of dayholies, enjoy other each, watch out for  "end of hand" for be who you can reach to out!

We be fine - not need anything - honest!  We be MORE than blessed!!

Thanks honoring us for no flowers, no candy, no llaboons, no food. I be limited, and surgery makes taste/smeller hyper, and we be have down to science! 

Thanks too all who have been on testy side of both me and Bill, esp.  the last month....last six months been really rugged, and level stress high. We both have been grinchy - thanks forgiveness/grace be give us. 
Check I will in weeks couple!! 
Lessbeing and more's!
 Love much!
Care (aka Yoda speak)
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And the Hits keep coming!

10/19/2019

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The photo that you see is a tree that came crashing down, falling across our river,  hours after I had been sitting where you see my camp chair.  It sums up how the last four months have been going for us!!  The hits just keep coming!! 

First, Jamie, our daughter broke her leg in 6 places the day before her 40th birthday. One short month later, she and her 23 week old unborn daughther unexpectedly passed away.

At the time, I was well into my yearly cancer and orthopedic follow-ups.
Cancer??  Ten years since my colon cancer diagnosis. While there is still a 'mysterious' mass lurking in my transverse colon, the doctors are in the midst of watching and re-staging the cancer.  The good news?? TEN YEARS!!

Orthopedic? The back, neck and leg bionics checked out. Unfortunately, the plate and 10 screws R upper arm hardware was failing. The "plan"  was to remove the hardware, and replace them with a "reverse" total shoulder replacement. 

ME? Have a surgery go NORMAL?! NOT!  First, there was no deltoid muscle to be found. Solution? Plan B: put in a "old-fashioned" total shoulder replacement with a lonnng arm. What was to be an hour and a half surgery ended up to be five. ..and a lot of blood loss.  Onto the next plan...

Plan C:  Take me to Jiffy Lube and give me a couple pints of blood. Easy-peasey, right? NOT!!  I had a reaction that won me a ticket to full cardiac work-up, CT and MRI. The doctors thought I might have suffered a stroke or seizure. We STILL don't know "what" happened.   BUT!!  If my orthopedist had NOT ordered the MRI, they would NOT have found my new "brain buddy" (tumor) who has taken up residence at the base of my skull over the occipital-parietal region.  Enter another new plan.

Plan D:  I will have a craniotomy/ open brain surgery on November 8. The neurosurgeons and radiation oncologists (my NEW friends!!) agree that since we don't know "what" the tumor is (a metastasis from cancer or a meningioma and if "it" is benign or malignant), it is too large for just Cyber-Knife radiation. 

Plan E? I think we call that "Entering the world of unknowns."  No idea how long the surgery will be.  No idea how long I will be in the hospital. Or if I'll need rehab. No idea of side effects (possible visual loss in right sides of both eyes? More neuropathy? Flare-up due to swelling of brain and symptoms from first brain surgery in 2001 show up (speech/balance/memory problems) or MAYBE NOTHING!!  

Just wanted to let you know I'm still here - but if I don't blog for awhile, you'll know what I'm up to and  I'll see you here, there or In the Air!  Thanks for your continued love, prayers and support! 

OH!! I almost forgot!!  I finished the manuscript FINALLY!  It's at my editor's as I type, so prayerfully you will see  Don't Wimp Out! Finding Faith, Courage and Victory in Life's Daily Battles in print in 2020!! Stay tuned!!
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    Care Tuk is a nationally known speaker, educator, and retreat/workshop leader. She has been a school, hospital, and home health occupational therapist for more than 30 years. She has been named as a Top Business Woman in America and recognized for her work with youth, disability outreach and awareness, and the American Cancer Society. 

    Care lives in Wasilla, Alaska, with her husband Bill. They have two grown children, Jamie and Tim, who live nearby. 

    At the time this book went to print, Care had just completed treatment/chemo from her eleventh bout with cancer.

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